I was going to write about something else but my friend Donna told me her “walked into the men’s room” at an Olive Garden story and that, of course, got me thinking!

As a mom of boys, I was leery of letting them go into the men’s room when they were old enough to go in there and do their business by themselves.  I would stand outside the men’s room door, shuffling Hannah and my purse between arms, and try to walk through the steps so I’d know if they should be out or not.  Now, when they were young, I’d march them into the ladies room and do my best to keep them from trying to peep under the door.  Aaron would always notice the feet and always say something about the person in the next stall, want to play with the toilet paper, want to take a bath in the sink, play with the hand dryer, etc.  Sam didn’t …he wanted to get in there and get out.

Anyhow, at one point I allowed the boys to go together to a public men’s room with the usual instructions:  Talk to no one, stay with each other, wash your hands and come straight out.  If anyone even looks at you funny or tries to “help you” or touch you, scream at the top of your lungs…I’ll come in and kill them…or something to that affect.

The boys had gone in and I was juggling Hannah at the doorway, listening for their voices since Aaron carried on a conversation nonstop.  I startled several men as they exited by being so near the door, but I didn’t care.  My babies were in there and this Mama Bear was on guard.

It suddenly got too quiet and it seemed to me they were taking longer than I thought it should have taken them.  I started thinking scary thoughts and before you could say boo, I had worked myself into a panic.

I pushed open the door a bit and hollered, “Aaron?  Sam?”

Silence.

Now I’m panicked and ready to tear whoever is in that bathroom limb from limb if they are keeping my babies from answering me.

Securing Hannah on my hip and my purse on my shoulder, I called loudly “I’m coming in now!” and blasted into the men’s room startling the boys who were soaping their hands with the automatic soap dispenser while the water was going full blast.  I was so surprised they were okay that I said a bit harshly, “You have about 2 seconds to finish up and get out of here!”

About that time I heard a flush and a man came scurrying out saying, “Sorry, I thought it was the men’s room….” and hightailed it on out, leaving Hannah, the boys and I standing there in shock.

“Come on,” I whispered, “we need to leave…” just as another man walked in, stopped dead, stepped out to check out the men’s room door sign, peeked back in as I thrust the boys in front of me.  As we were leaving the man shook his head and said, “I hope you didn’t leave the seat down, lady.”

As if I would have even touched it!

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